If you are an expecting or new parent – congratulations! You have probably had people warn you of the sleep deprivation you will experience upon the arrival of your newborn and are wondering “how bad it could possibly be?” Well, I was right there with you. As someone who treasures sleep and loves to nap, the idea of my sleep schedule being altered, was daunting. However, the newborn phase wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, thanks to endorphins, adrenaline and the little things I did to help me stay awake!
Prior to my son’s birth, I had been awake for over 30 hours. Looking back, I wonder how I made it through. But, in the moment, you have so much adrenaline, you are bursting with anticipation! In the birth class my husband and I took online, the nurse stated you may sleep in between contractions while you are in labour – I reflect back on that statement and laugh to myself. If you are someone who is able to sleep between contractions in labour – good for you! Let me know your secrets, because sleep was the last thing on my mind.
Once Jaiden made his entrance into the world, yes, we were tired. But we were more excited than anything! We eagerly watched as the doctors and nurses checked him over, showed us how to swaddle and every little thing in between. Once he was 3 hours old, my husband and I were left alone with Jaiden in our room to try and get some rest, but the excitement, nerves and anxiousness prevented that from happening. I couldn’t wait to be discharged and head home, because I felt that once we were home I would be able to find a rhythm and be comfortable… right?
Wrong. The first week of Jaiden’s life was all about finding the right approach. They say a baby should sleep in the same room as you for at least the first 6 months of life to reduce SIDS, but neither my husband or I could sleep due to this, resulting in us both being walking zombies. Jaiden also hated his bassinet, and we struggled to find a good swaddle to keep him in. After the first week, we finally settled into a routine.
My husband and I finally decided on a schedule trade-off for late night feeds. My husband took 8PM-12AM, and I took 12AM on-wards. Trust me when I say, the length of your sleep sessions may deteriorate, but the quality of your sleep is indescribable. When I would wake up from my 4 hour power sleep, I would feel recharged! It made such a difference! I would switch off with my husband, and watch over Jaiden, drifting in and out of sleep until his next feed.
When I would wake up with Jaiden every 1.5-2 hours, I would of course be groggy. I would drink a glass of water (hydration is so important, especially if you are breastfeeding), and I would turn on Netflix (at low volume), while I fed him to keep my awake. My biggest fear was falling asleep while feeding him. We have a comfy recliner in his room, and when you are running on little sleep, the temptation to shut your eyes and drift off is overwhelming. Nevertheless, I forced myself to focus on a show to keep my eyes open, while Jaiden got a feed in.
A trick I used to ensure Jaiden was getting enough food and would sleep a little bit longer is this: I would feed him on one side (if you are bottle feeding, feed about half of what they would normally take in a feed), then I would change his diaper. This would wake him up a bit, so that he didn’t fall asleep prior to getting his full feed. I would then feed him on the other side, burp him, and then put him down. I found this technique made him sleep a bit longer as he remained more full.
The biggest takeaways I can give are:
- Ask your partner, or a loved one for help during the early days. You need your sleep to function and be the best parent you can be, don’t feel bad.
- Be open to learning what works for your baby! It took us a while to find a swaddle that worked for Jaiden. We tried so many different ones, before finally finding the Halo Sleepsack Swaddle. It can be frustrating, especially when you are exhausted, but know this is just a phase.
- Stay hydrated and have lots of snacks on hand! This is key in fuelling your body and giving it the energy it needs to stay awake and provide what your baby needs.
- Find something to help you stay awake at night. For me, it was our amazing Vava nightlight and watching some Netflix to keep my eyes from closing and me drifting off.
- Ask others for their advice and tips! No baby is the same. You know your baby best, but it does help to talk to people who have gone through what you are experiencing.
Having a child is the most rewarding adventure you could ever imagine. They fill your heart with a love you never knew existed, make you smile more than you ever thought possible, but, they also challenge you. Remember that these sleep deprived new-born moments are phases that will pass. Reach out to people, ask for help and know you aren’t alone. If you experience days where you feel like your failing, just know that you are doing the best you can, and your baby is grateful for it.
