You never know what someone is going through. This is especially true with the current state of the world. Anxiety is at an all time high due to the stresses of the pandemic and feeling isolated from friends and loved ones. Fear of losing a job, or paying bills for the month has taken it’s toll on many people globally. The current state should serve as a reminder: you never know what someone is going through; whatever you do today, do it with kindness.
Leading with kindness should be your approach to others regardless of the global state. People are and were struggling with various issues prior to the pandemic. Questions or topics that may not effect you, may effect someone else.
The pandemic has reminded me of the struggles my husband and I faced trying to get pregnant with our son. After a year of being married, people began to ask my husband and I “when will you be having kids?” It is often the go-to question for couples who are married. However, before asking this question (or other personal questions) to someone, consider the possible implications – on the topic of pregnancy:
- 15% of couples globally struggle with fertility issues
- 10-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage
- More and more people are choosing to not have kids
If you check social media often, it is likely you have come across pregnancy announcements. Since the start of the pandemic, I have noticed a lot more popping up on my news feeds. It is a beautiful moment, so of course people want to share the news with the world. However, what may bring joy to some, may bring sadness to others. Infertility can affect men and women. Many people who struggle are not vocal about their issues; but it is important to know that infertility is more common than you think. To those dealing with infertility: you are not alone.
When my husband and I first started trying to get pregnant, we assumed it would be a simple and easy process; however, we ended up learning I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), which made our journey to get pregnant a bit harder. Upon learning this diagnosis, we also learned that 1 in 10 women globally have this condition and there are many different forms. While we were trying, the frustration and pressure I placed upon myself grew by the month. If someone announced a pregnancy, I couldn’t help but feel envious as my husband and I both longed for a child. But I kept our secret struggle to myself and whenever someone asked when we were going to have kids, I would respond: “eventually”.
It was during our struggle that I became more aware of how sensitive the fertility subject is and how many couples experience this. I have had close friends go through miscarriages and struggle with infertility – it isn’t easy. We as a society, aren’t vocal about our personal issues, which leads many to feel isolated and ashamed. I am happy to see more public figures are speaking out about issues they have faced. Speaking about infertility shouldn’t be “taboo” – many people experience it.
For those that are struggling, regardless of the circumstance: you aren’t alone. For those who are longing for a child: there are people going through the same thing as you. There are doctors who specialize in many different areas, there are a wide range of tests that can be done and most importantly, there are so many options to help you become a parent.
Whether this pandemic has brought on hardship, or made your hardships worse, know that it does and will get better. For those struggling with infertility, remember that whether you become a parent through natural pregnancy, pregnancy with the assistance of fertility drugs, IUI, IVF, surrogacy, adoption or another means, there is no shame in your journey. This is your journey and no matter how tough it may seem right now, the destination is worth it.
