I had an incredible childhood. My parents both worked full-time (sometimes a couple jobs at a time), but they always made sure I was happy. Because of their busy schedules and fluctuating hours, I was lucky enough to have many people in my life that would look after me. The most monumental relationship I had growing up would be my Dad’s Mom, who I called (and still call), Bubby.
My Grandma (Bubby) and I had a special bond. From the moment I was born, my parents say it was almost as though she became a new person. She visited frequently and we would have the best adventures, no matter what we were doing or where we were. Her stories were enthralling and her love for me was always apparent. We would go on adventures everywhere. Sometimes we would go play mini golf, other times we would take a ferry over to the mainland (we live on an island) and explore.
I would spend most summers at my Grandparents where Bubby taught me to bake, garden and enjoy the simple things in life. Her sense of humour would lead to many laughing spells. She often thought I was “too skinny” (I have a naturally thinner build), so she would make me milkshakes during our visits – along with pies and cakes. She definitely passed her sweet tooth on to me. Her drawers were always filled with chocolate bars and candy – it’s a wonder we ever ate actual food!
As I grew older, my sports took up more time. I travelled a lot as a competitive swimmer, but she would ensure she came for visits when I was home, or drive me/pick me up from the airport when my parents weren’t able to. As swimming became more demanding, I felt I was losing myself. Swimming was no longer my passion, I didn’t truly know what I wanted to do when I “grew up” and I was disinterested in school.
I never had to tell Bubby how I was feeling; she could read me like a book. She would always tell me to follow my heart and “above all: to thine own self be true” – my favourite Shakespeare quote. As I listened to her, I realized that I was not being true to myself. I was living for others expectations of what they thought I should be. I quit swimming, was accepted into a reputable University and began my studies towards a degree in Arts, focusing on History and English.
Although competitive swimming was no longer my passion, I still loved the water. We have a cabin on a beautiful lake about 3 hours north of where we live that is my “happy place” and escape from the world. I decided that my love for the water didn’t have to end when I quit swimming. I started to take courses in pursuit of becoming a lifeguard. Once I finished those courses, I was hired right away at the pool I grew up swimming at. I received my National Coaching Certification so that I could coach children in competitive swimming, became a Water Safety Instructor, so that I could teach children to learn how to swim and became a Lifesaving Instructor, so that I could teach lifesaving courses.
Slowly I began to find myself again. But as I was finding myself, Bubby’s memory was beginning to fade. When I was 18, she started to write letters to me. They detailed her fondest memories of us together and spoke of how proud she was of everything I had accomplished. In them, I could tell that she knew her memory was not what it once was. When I called or visited she began to forget minor things. A couple months later, she would begin to forget events that had occurred.
When I met my husband and brought him to meet her, she began telling him exciting stories about things that had happened to her – however, these stories never happened. As time progressed, her memory faded more and more. She was officially diagnosed with dementia a couple years ago and is now living in a care facility where she is in good hands. Unfortunately, due to COVID-19, I have been unable to visit her. However, her care home has set up Zoom Calls, so that we can chat and see her “virtually”. I am grateful that I was able to bring my son to the window of her care home a couple months after he was born so that she could see him. But she no longer remembers my name.
When I began to find myself again, she gave me a pendant that said “This above all: to thine own self be true”. I look at it often and think of her and the memories we shared together. I will be forever grateful for our bond and relationship. I am grateful she got to meet my husband and my son – though she will not remember, I always will.
Whenever I feel myself second guessing, I read her letters and they remind me to never doubt myself. Thanks to Bubby, I persevered. I switched career paths in 2016 as I was no longer feeling fulfilled as a lifeguard. I worked my way up from Receptionist to Executive Assistant/Facilities Coordinator. I married the love of my life in 2017. I received my Bachelor of Arts Degree in 2018 and we also purchased our dream home that same year. And in 2020, I welcomed my son – a boy who Bubby would have loved to hold and play with. Although they may not remember each other, I will make sure he grows up knowing how special his Great-Grandma truly was.
